The freshest warm funny straight-from-the-oven Jinuism

Comedy is what happens to you when you're least expecting it. And Jinuisms, according to the tradition, come unannounced. When you are unguarded, in a serious mode. It happened today, when we were chatting on GTalk (You see, we have left no stones unturned when it comes to testing all forms of communication to constantly be in touch). Plus we don't have any other work. ;D

Anyway, this time it goes like this. We've been boy bashing for some time now (Apologies to the only two male readers of my blog ;D) and telling each other how we deserve much better (Thank god for vanity!). Just when I was cribbing how I've been the wrong guy magnet for ever now and that I don't think I'll find someone right ever, she said it! And the usual happened. I was in fits.

Here it is, Uncanned and Uncensored.

jinup: arey i am telling u

u r a solid package man*

12:13 PM u r intelligent, smart, humorous, witty and guess what u r hot also! :D

and ambitious..!*

ppl think they'll get max 2 things from this

but u r a bloddy package man*

12:14 PM and i wont let someone exhange a mac book for a bloody desktop

me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

omg!!!!

omfg!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

another jinuism

* Note - None of the adjectives issued by the individual JinuP above are true, they have just been quoted for sake of demonstration of love.

Why wink?!?

Of a lot of stupid things that men do, winking stumps me the most. I mean...there's some winking that is done as a form of eve teasing. But no! This is not eve teasing. Have you ever noticed your guy friends greet you with a wink? Have you ever seen a colleague pass by and winking at you instead of waving or saying hullo?

And then what do you do? Wink back?!? Or slap? Or say...aye nayansukh, harkatein mat kar!

I've joined this new company and surprisingly everytime I come accross this one colleague of mine..he winks at me?!? :| Grrrrrrr

The magic is gone ;D

It had been too long...and it felt great to get one of those again. I call them Jinuisms. For people who think I'm funny, wait until you meet her, my best friend. For the uninitiated, Jinuisms are these little snippets of monologue (read: explosions of laughter gas) that leave you gasping for air in between fits of laughter everytime she rattles them off.

Just the other day when i was reminding her of the time my ex actually complained about the fact that the 'magic is gone' and how she and I cracked up on it (Yeah, I know I'm a bitch), she says...

"The day I heard that, I knew it wasn't going to last with that guy. There's only that much magic that a woman can create with two boobs and one brain!!"

Biatch! ;D

She did it. Again. I was ROFL.

...and isn't it ironic?

"...Traffic Jams when you're already late, a no smoking sign on your cigarette break. It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is knife. It's like meeting the man of my dreams, and meeting his beautiful wife... "

That's right. Met the man of my dreams...and his beautiful fiance. Have known him since childhood when his issues were 'how to pataofy a girl' to 'how to cross the 50% mark in the next exam.' I used to be his fat friend whom his hot girlfriends used to look down upon wondering why he hangs out with me.

Used to help him spot babes in malls and share my notes with him. (Not that I was geeky or any better than him in studies...well only slightly). Used to be the first one to know about his 30 day stints and the girls he used to think he'll settle down with.

Met him after 4 years when he's back to India for his engagement to a beautiful girl. He now talks about world economy, sufi music, stable relationships, global warming and all impressive stuff. Had the most amazing time and conversation in two days. Felt the most comfortable in a long time.

Hmmm....filmy, very filmy.

Note: All characters in this post are fictitious bearing no resemblance to any person living or dead (Well, maybe only slightly)

...and isn't it ironic? :)

Monday night madness!

I'm high. Yes, I'm high as I write this. It's my space. Not like...'MySpace' but my space. Battling the viruses on my flatmate's laptop, I'm complaining! I wanna hit God. That stupid thing that's called God. Go on, you freaks. come on and hit me, you lunatics. The ones who consider themselves the curators of God. Anyway, back to business. I'm no more jobless!

Today was my first day at work! And what do I hear? "What desserts would you like for Saturday?" "What's going to be the menu for Valentine's Day?"

It's such a refreshing change after 'traffic targets' and 'target registrations', all that mediocrity',' a stupid stupid website'

Pfffffffffffffffff

The quirks of singledom :|

One of the weirdest things about being single is that you no longer find those ‘sweet nothings’ sweet. Those little acts of love seem annoying especially when someone else is doing it. Just the other day, I went out for dinner with a couple who couldn’t get enough of each other. And OMG! It was suffocating. I mean, why call me? Yeah, I know, I know, all you lovely couples hate me already. To make it worse, they would often look for morsels in each other’s mouths. Atleast that’s what I prefer to think they were doing. Wait. Now what? You obviously think that I’m this old-haggardly-whiney-thankless single woman. No!!?! Gosh... there I go two steps closer to my quarter life crisis. Ugh!

Home!

I’m back to the place I call home. It’s a deluge of experiences, my parent’s house. Relatives, neighbours, friends who I grew up with, and most of all, time with parents. I have grown up and so have my parents. My dad has joined Facebook and my mum complains about knee aches. That’s what is new. ;D

Laugh it off!

I'm back to the city I'm in love with...Bangalore. After the luxury of home in Delhi and almost a luxury vacation in Mumbai, I'm back to beautiful breeze and rain drenched lanes of Bangalore. I must say it's the most beautiful city to settle in. Anyway, this one's a special dedication to a very witty blog of a friend. He really has the gift of the comic gab. Everytime I visit his blog, I can't help but crack up. So, check it out.

Here goes...

www.madonionslicer.com

The benefits of staying away from home.

• The experience of changing a light bulb. Yourself.
• The experience of going to the electricity board, paying the bill yourself and regaining your bijli connection. Usually, at home, the driver, odd jobs boy, or daddy's office peon would do that.
• The habit of listening to your conscience more than your parents. Their decision might coincide almost all the time but then that's the freedom that you enjoy.
• The experience of experiencing your joys, your grievances on your own. Sharing them with people YOU want to.
• The suckiness of kneading the dough to make roti and then the ultimate joy of sitting down and hogging all of it realizing how well you cook.
• The freedom to sleep at 8:00pm in the evening if you want to.
• The freedom to take anybody home (your house) or throw anybody out ;D
• The realization of right and wrong. On your own. And then the joy of kicking away what's wrong even if it's verrrrrrrrry tempting.
• The freedom of going out at 12 in the night and not being hollered by your dad to find out when you're gonna come back.
• The freedom of sitting down at 9 AM in the morning typing all this when you know you should be rushing to work instead, and not being harrangued by your parents saying 'It's time! You gotta rushhh'
• Escaping the feeling of helplessness after witnessing your parent's health deteriorate by the day. (This one sucks but don't hate me for this.)
• The experience of friends. Real friends. and very sucky roommates too sometimes.

Now, I've seen it ALL!

Yes, quite literally. This is it! There was a time when I thought seeing Mallu porn was it, then there was a time when I thought eating curd rice with manchurian was it. Then there was yet another time when I thought watching disusting videos on YouTube was it and then yet another time when I thought doing aerobics to a Tamil song was it. But no! Today, I crossed all those barriers. This is IT. Fortunately/Unfortunately (All you Cranberry fans out there, please close your ears) I danced to 'Zombie' today in my aerobics class! Eow! No! No! Don't stone me. It wasn't my fault.

It was the instructor.

I mean whatever he was thinking, I'm sure he would never know that right there in that dance hall at that moment, he created history....