I'm Blue

As if my parents weren’t enough, I got a call from Shaadi.com a while ago asking me if I’d spare some time to talk to them about Marriage proposals. Wtf??!! I’m sure my name might be in flashing in red bold letters in their database saying ‘Eligible candidate. Catch her NOW!’ I’m sorry Shaadi.com, I refuse to contribute to your sales and put my life in trouble. Just FUCK OFF. And how did they get my number you ask? They got it off a job portal where I’ve posted my resume. Ugh!

To make matters worse, facebook is giving me daily updates on who’s getting married, who’s getting engaged. Old colleague couples getting married, peers getting engaged, friends meeting soulmates. The only positive happening in the entire process is the growth of my single blues. K

Go take a walk, world. Don’t hassle me with those marriage talks.

The magic is gone ;D

It had been too long...and it felt great to get one of those again. I call them Jinuisms. For people who think I'm funny, wait until you meet her, my best friend. For the uninitiated, Jinuisms are these little snippets of monologue (read: explosions of laughter gas) that leave you gasping for air in between fits of laughter everytime she rattles them off.

Just the other day when i was reminding her of the time my ex actually complained about the fact that the 'magic is gone' and how she and I cracked up on it (Yeah, I know I'm a bitch), she says...

"The day I heard that, I knew it wasn't going to last with that guy. There's only that much magic that a woman can create with two boobs and one brain!!"

Biatch! ;D

She did it. Again. I was ROFL.

...and isn't it ironic?

"...Traffic Jams when you're already late, a no smoking sign on your cigarette break. It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is knife. It's like meeting the man of my dreams, and meeting his beautiful wife... "

That's right. Met the man of my dreams...and his beautiful fiance. Have known him since childhood when his issues were 'how to pataofy a girl' to 'how to cross the 50% mark in the next exam.' I used to be his fat friend whom his hot girlfriends used to look down upon wondering why he hangs out with me.

Used to help him spot babes in malls and share my notes with him. (Not that I was geeky or any better than him in studies...well only slightly). Used to be the first one to know about his 30 day stints and the girls he used to think he'll settle down with.

Met him after 4 years when he's back to India for his engagement to a beautiful girl. He now talks about world economy, sufi music, stable relationships, global warming and all impressive stuff. Had the most amazing time and conversation in two days. Felt the most comfortable in a long time.

Hmmm....filmy, very filmy.

Note: All characters in this post are fictitious bearing no resemblance to any person living or dead (Well, maybe only slightly)

...and isn't it ironic? :)

Home!

I’m back to the place I call home. It’s a deluge of experiences, my parent’s house. Relatives, neighbours, friends who I grew up with, and most of all, time with parents. I have grown up and so have my parents. My dad has joined Facebook and my mum complains about knee aches. That’s what is new. ;D

Laugh it off!

I'm back to the city I'm in love with...Bangalore. After the luxury of home in Delhi and almost a luxury vacation in Mumbai, I'm back to beautiful breeze and rain drenched lanes of Bangalore. I must say it's the most beautiful city to settle in. Anyway, this one's a special dedication to a very witty blog of a friend. He really has the gift of the comic gab. Everytime I visit his blog, I can't help but crack up. So, check it out.

Here goes...

www.madonionslicer.com

Marriage!?!?!

Laptop open FAST! I need to write. Need to express. Need to squeeze that second of emotion that I felt onto this LCD screen. I just talked to her. She’s getting married. My friend. MY friend. She’s getting married. My peer! I mean at this stage I can’t even think of getting married and she says she wants to get married. She wants to get done with it and start her new life. Man! Am I missing something? Am I missing an important stage in life? Will it be too late when I start feeling something like this? Or am I already feeling it but somehow covering it..suppressing it , hushing it under my ambitions?

Is it the word I’m scared of ? Am I looking at marriage like that giant roller coaster you see at amusement parks and you know that’s gonna cause a lot of trouble to your bowels. You know it’s going to be fun at the end but just going towards it makes you shit bricks. Anyway, I’m digressing. The main point here is…it feels like I’m losing her. One of my very close friends, one of the gang of friends that I used to swear by. As I was talking to her, I had just started enjoying the fact that I was getting back in touch and that she was still the same I met at college (I needed that feeling), she tells me she’ll have to disconnect. Her fiancé is calling. She needs to talk to him.

Where are the days when we would do anything and everything together? Where are the days when we would yell back at our parents because they used to stop us from talking to the same friend again on phone after we had spent the entire day together? Now, as people get married, friends become social circle, little acts of friendship become sweet memories, unmarried friends will be looked down upon because ‘they don’t know what married life is like.’

Anyway, I’ve seen that earlier, and I’ve seen people like me feel the same way about their friends getting married. It feels miserable. Or I’m just getting too emotional here. Maybe that’s how really reluctant people get married too. They see their friends get married and there comes a stage when they feel too lonely. Ok people, don’t laugh. It’s just the ‘OMG- my-friend’s-getting-married’ nervousness.

The good ol' times that we're having right now...

Yeah, that was the sign I saw at TGI's Friday yesterday. It was something more than that, but I liked this part the most. It truly reflects the time I'm having right now. So many ol' friends that I had lost touch with, are cropping up from nowhere..thanks to Facebook!

Here are some of them I found recently:

- Apaar - Cute guy from tuition class in 10th grade. One of those mischievious guys that every girl sorta finds cute but is too shy to admit. Well, that was the case with the girls in my tuition, I know it. Let's see how he looks now.

- Dhruv aka Sunny: My childhood friend. The 'Chris Griffin' of our times. :D Two things I remember distinctly, his style of running and the boisterous laughter. All in all, a very good friend.

Mahiti: Friend from work. Ex-Googler. Nice girl :)

Oh yeah, it's the week of ol' friends and I've decided I'm gonna make an effort to find long lost friends online. Heil Facebook!!!

Ok, I've taken to blogging lately and have been exploring a lot of interesting stuff. Tags is one of them. Jinu tagged me the other day and here it is Jinu.

Ten things you could say to people right now:

1. Stop saying 'What skills do you bring to the table'!!!!!
2. Love you :)
3. Get me outta here!!!
4. Could you just come here pls?
5. Don't act smart. You know I can figure what you're trying to do.
6. I need more love from you, friends?
7. Let's parrrrtyyyy!!
8. Stop being a girly girl!
9. Will you just for a second stop your whining, and look at it from the other person's pov?
10. Focus...focus..focus..

Nine things about yourself:

1. I can be very loving if you love me back.
2. I love meeting new people.
3. I hate people who think all the problems in the world happened to them.
4. I'm scared of people who don't have a sense of humor.
5. I'm officially the PJ queen.
6. You'll mostly find me playing the guitar these days ;)
7. I want to be an artist. How does kinetic sculptor sound?
8. I sing when I need a vent.
9. I'm so not close to being a girly girl.

Eight ways to win your heart:

1. Don't give me gifts. Just gimme your affection.
2. Speak good english.
3. I know this is vain but...wear good shoes.
4. Be honest with me. I love it.
5. Talk to me about your ambitions.
6. Make me laugh.
7. Take me to a roadside restaurant instead of a fine dining place.
8. I like you if you love travelling.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot ::

1. Ok, so what do I have to do next.
2. Guitar...guitar...guitar
3. Why can't relationships be independant and balanced?
4. My future house will have this..that...
5. Let's do something creative.
6. Why am I so confused?
7. Am I going wrong?

Six things you wish you never did

1. Not joined NIFT.
That's all. I believe that there are no accidents. Everything is planned for you. So whatever screw-ups I did. I was meant to do them. No regrets.

Five turn offs (This should have been ten instead of 5 :P)

1. Bad English
2. Thick accent
3. Uncle type shoes
4. Loud mouth
5. I'm-too-cool-for-you attitude/low self-esteem/I-have-all-the-problems-in-the-world

4 turn ons

1. Traveler
2. Ambitious
3. Ability to flirt subtly is very important (no sticky, mushy pick-up lines)
4. Respect towards me. (This doesn't mean

3 things you want to do before you die

1. Travel extensively with a friend.
2. Gift my parents a house in Goa.
3. Become a designer.

2 things someone told you, you'd never forget

1. You were meant to create history.
2. Only you have the right to sing. :) (Btw, the person who said this, was comparing me to some 4 other singers.)

1 confession

I lose interest very quickly. I'm scared.

Ok Sree, I'm no dum dum. Tagging you!

There she goes again...

If you're a good friend of mine, you would know what Jinuisms are. If you don't, then you DON'T DESERVE TO KNOW! Hehe..Just kidding.

So lemme describe it just for my readers (with an arrogant author-ish attitude)
I was just talking to J about how some guy I met at a wedding was kinda trying to get in touch with me, trying to keep up the conversation and how annoying it was etc. etc.
And here it was, another classic one from her.
J: "Koi baat nai bade, such guys are the griddles that stay by your side when you're going through a rough patch ;)." But of course, they only remain to the side and never come to the forefront.

Now that's how she is. She'll make me laugh in the weirdest of situations. For ex: when I'm whining, when I'm upset, when I'm not supposed to laugh etc. etc. And the best part is she doesn't even intend to, it just flows from her effortlessly...her Jinuisms.

It's all about how you say it.

Ok, so here's something silly that prompted me to think about how different men express their need to well...umm...take a leak. Just the other day we (me and some girls) were discussing how some expressions are such a turn off and some are a subtle way to say it. Don't judge me and please understand how jobless I can get. (which is so tough to be in a busy world like ours.)So, here's the bucket list of different expressions I've heard so far.

I've gotta:
1. Take a leak
2. Empty my bladder
3. Where's the restroom?
4. Take a piss (Ewww...)
5. Relieve myself
6. pee-pee
7. spend a penny
8. Visit John
9. wee-wee
10. make water

And here's what made me write this. A great addition to the list.

- I gotta give my signature and come. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Marriage?!? Really???

This was the first thing that came to my mind when i heard about N's wedding. I mean are you serious? And what am I doing? Am I next? Is there gonna be increased pressured on me now? Am I too lost? Will I have to follow the beaten path? And here I am completely lost in life. Just the other day I was whining about having a job that's not really meant for me, being completely lost about my education, business plans etc. My career plans change faster than I change my clothes...well, not really but faster than my clothes in a week? Umm...err...whatever! Anyway, so as if the career confusion, education dilemma wasn't enough, here comes one more addition. Here I should emphasize that I'm really happy for her. Infact I'm thrilled and the naughty, always owerpowering side of my brain is already thinking of ways to tease Neha but seriously I can't stop thinking bout my own state. Ok, now here's the realization. Maybe I was going too carefree. No one to say anything to me, I was just feeling that I can go like this for the rest of my life. Little did I realize that there'll be family pressure, outside world, my BROTHER, all of them looking down at this carefree, singing-with-the-wind child, trying to mould this uncertain mass of flubber into the society requirements. Oh well, am I getting too philosophical? Yeah, that's the flavor of the month.

Toilet education

She's back!! And I couldn't have waited any longer for her. She's my love, my best friend, my source of food for thought, the been-there-done-that lady. Hehe. We didn't have a lot of days on our hands to be together this time and I don't think she wants to spend much time with me anymore anyway. However, here's the good part. Now that she was here, how could we not do what we did best together: Chat, chat and chat. Well, mostly sensible stuff from her end and head nods from mine. And then moving to some arbitly random topic which would seemingly get aborted by cackles of laughter. It didn't take her too long to rattle off one of what we call "Jinuisms." We were getting out from a club and hitting the ladies room (Quite obviously after a lot of alcohol and faff) and here it came "I don't like going to public loos, coz i feel I'm resting my bum where the rest of the world does" :D