Listen to me!

Listen to me!

I often complain about this to my boyfriend. He tells me that he finds it very difficult to talk to me because I won’t listen to him too. I’ve come back home and realize that both my parents and I struggle to talk to each other because no one would listen to anyone else. We just want to talk! Then I’m reminded of this quote I read sometime back.

‘Give every man thy ears, but few thy voice’

I roll back in laughter. Doesn’t this make us human? That little ‘Share’ button at the bottom of a lovely picture on facebook captures the essence of it. We just want to share! We hardly want to listen what the other person wants to share with us. All that matters to us is what we are sharing with the world and it gives us indefinite joy if someone listens or pays attention.

I’ve often tried this. Have tried to consciously close my pitara of thoughts and genuinely tried to listen to the other person talk. I can’t last for more than 10 minutes! I have to incessantly give advice, a personal anecdote or my opinion on it.

I’m very curious. Am I the only one or is there someone else (other than my parents and boyfriend, of course) who have trouble listening? What do you do about it?

Should we just stop talking about what we have to say and reconcile to the fact that people don’t really care what your life is about. Other than the time they have asked you a question? Then how do we vent? Anyone ‘listening’? :D

Damn! What's it with me and younger men. Aaaaargghhhh!

Messed up!

Yes, we're so messed up. We:

- Pay huge amount of money for some drops of colored liquid only to puke it out later or get rid of it the next day.


- Inhale filthy smoke that burns our insides just for a high that doesn't even last five minutes.

- Ignore people but send friend requests to random aquaintances on social networks.

- Look for that perfect soulmate all our lives and cheat on them when we find one.

How much is too much???

Recently I've been noticing the so called 'Status messages' of people on my Gtalk list and believe you me, they're nothing less than amusing. Offlate I haven't even had time for a breather at work, so I amuse myself by reading the weird Gtalk messages as and when I get two seconds off. Here are some really amusing ones that crossed my eyes recently:

- Savio: 2 great meetings in Mumbai, potentially gargantuan partnerships. But too early to disclose or comment. Hoping for the best in time to come.

Wow! After reading all of that, I'm Sooooo not curious and i'm not going to ask you anything.

anitha>: is not here.

We know that from your idle icon D-uh!

- Adam: Busy, please do not ping. Like really! if you REALLY do not want anyone to ping, may we suggest logging off?

- Cynthia: 9935639292

Do you really want EVERYONE to know your no.?


As I write all this, I can't wait to see more of this stuff. Gosh, I'm addicted. What say Guys?

The gift of faff...

Helloooooooooo...After a long haul, I'm back again. Was dying to get back to blogging and found the perfect piece to write about. Like I always say, comedy happens to you when you're least expecting it! Just the other day when I almost had a tiff with one of the guys at the agency that I work with, I got an apology email from him. Here's what it says:

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Hi XXXX,

It was a pleasure connecting with you.

I apologies for touching a soft spot, I hope you can appreciate where I was coming from. None-the-less it was not intentional to dissatisfy you and offend you with expressing myself.
I hope we can put it behind us.

As discussed, find attached presentation – that we had presented to you.
---------------------------------------------

Much as I was stumped to read this, I couldn't help but Roll on the F'in floor!!

That guy better thank his stars he wasn't in front of me or I would've returned the favor by touching all soft spots and making sure he wouldn't be able to touch them himself again.

If that's not enough for you unsatisfied folks, here's another one I got recently (Thankfully not the same guy)

---------------------------------------------
Hi XXXX,

Attached here is the content used on the end devices. As I informed you, the content is twigged (My techie friends would understand what he's referring to) a little to fit on to the display with a bigger font.

It caught attention of everyone and some of them got engaged with it. (Wow, got engaged to a device? Really??) They held it in their hand and rocked it as well. (Ahem! No more details please) However on the call for action we need to understand more on the end user behavior.

--------------------------------------------

Yeah sure, we'll decide the call for action and get more users engaged with the damn device. :D

Namma 'Lovely' Bengaluru

Ok, after a long halt and forever writer's block, this is one thing that has prompted me to put a quick note for all your bangaloreans to enjoy and the others to get jealous of. Bangalore, my city these days, is known for it's lovely weather. And these days it's better than ever-est (Superlative of ever). I'll not let my words get in the way and let the pictures do the talking.

So, blankets are out, jackets are on and raincoats are getting used while the sun weilds it's power on other cities. Love you Bangalore!!

Kelly...my love :D

Ok, as fate would have it...I have a writer's block :| (Issued in public interest by God). So until I finally get my fingers to write something, here's one of my fav funny videos. If you haven't seen this, do give it a watch. If you've seen it, do give it a watch.



Enjoy!

Guy-rations

Hi All (whoever actually stumbles upon this blog). Apologies for the long snooze. You see, I've been busy...umm, thinking about ways to prevent the third world war. Anyway, I recently went to Mumbai and something funny happened. I'll spare you the details but I'd definitely share my thoughts on what it got me thinking about. Of the 5 yrs that I've been travelling and working all over India, I came across different kinds of guys....

The loud, brash, good-at-heart nothie: This one's a stunner at the first glimpse but makes you run for your life the moment he opens his mouth. The gutwrenching abuses but heartwarming smile, cheap attitude but expensive clothing is what describes him best. Now that I've been missing home, the downpour of abusive language (that to in hindi-punjabi) has become music to my ears. ;D

The charmer: This one's a smooooothie...he's great at making interesting conversations, making promises and at showing you the carrot. Meet him for the night and watch him leave skid marks the next day.

The arrogant intellectual %@%%#: He's the eligible bachelor, has more degrees than clothes to wear (mostly wears his company T-shirts or college alumni ones :D), has more weight  to throw around than on himself. This one's usually found down south of India. If he's after you, you should be grateful (or so he thinks :D). Although he looks pretty disciplined, he's had more women than you can count.

The psychopath: This one will track, stalk and hunt you down until you cave in. A die-hard romantic but more committed than the ones above. Don't judge him, the dearth of women in his life makes him so. :D

The dominating daddy: uh uh uh..NO...don't even think of thinking naughty. This one thinks relationships are all about placing restrictions....the over obsessive, dominating jerk.

Ok, just my random rantings over some of 'em. Couldn't help but put my seldom judgemental mind to work. Feel free to share details about the types you've met or to throw stones at me (if you're a guy) :D :D

Whatever said, the deal is that we foolish women can't live without them. Dayum, you men!

I'm Blue

As if my parents weren’t enough, I got a call from Shaadi.com a while ago asking me if I’d spare some time to talk to them about Marriage proposals. Wtf??!! I’m sure my name might be in flashing in red bold letters in their database saying ‘Eligible candidate. Catch her NOW!’ I’m sorry Shaadi.com, I refuse to contribute to your sales and put my life in trouble. Just FUCK OFF. And how did they get my number you ask? They got it off a job portal where I’ve posted my resume. Ugh!

To make matters worse, facebook is giving me daily updates on who’s getting married, who’s getting engaged. Old colleague couples getting married, peers getting engaged, friends meeting soulmates. The only positive happening in the entire process is the growth of my single blues. K

Go take a walk, world. Don’t hassle me with those marriage talks.

The ice and spice of my life

Once in a while you meet someone and you just know that you're home. You know that the ride together is going to be awesome hereon. Then all the food tastes good, there's good music all around, the people around seem so happy and start looking good, the atmosphere is filled with joy. I didn't think something like this exists, but I soon realized when it happened to me myself. But ofcouse, that someone isn't any person but a cafe on St. Marks Road, Blore called 'Ice & Spice' (Yeah, don't be fooled. It doesn't happen that way with another person ;D). As soon as I entered the quaint little thing, I knew this was going to be my second home. ;D

The tiny sitting space inside the cafe looks so inviting, I've never felt more cozy at any other place. And the food! OMG!!! The vegetarian burgers are to die for. The most pleasurable experience is tasting their warm melted chocolate tarts. (You have to ask to heat the tarts before they're served) As the chocolate decadence melts in your mouth, you can't help but feel like a lover is softly stroking your hair while you plunge into the most pleasurable state of consciousness. There's good music and it gets better as you dig your teeth into sheer ambrosia. Do I have to mention how good the ambience is? Go alone or with your partner or with your friends or parents (um...not really) but just GOOOO there!

Needless to say, you know where to find me this weekend and every other. The best part of this entire escapade is that my wallet loves it too! A must must must visit.

A good one!

If you like to laugh you gotta gotta check out this website.

www.brainstuck.com.

It totally had me in wits and I ended up spending hours checking it out.

The one on the right is my favorite pick from the site ;D --------->>

The freshest warm funny straight-from-the-oven Jinuism

Comedy is what happens to you when you're least expecting it. And Jinuisms, according to the tradition, come unannounced. When you are unguarded, in a serious mode. It happened today, when we were chatting on GTalk (You see, we have left no stones unturned when it comes to testing all forms of communication to constantly be in touch). Plus we don't have any other work. ;D

Anyway, this time it goes like this. We've been boy bashing for some time now (Apologies to the only two male readers of my blog ;D) and telling each other how we deserve much better (Thank god for vanity!). Just when I was cribbing how I've been the wrong guy magnet for ever now and that I don't think I'll find someone right ever, she said it! And the usual happened. I was in fits.

Here it is, Uncanned and Uncensored.

jinup: arey i am telling u

u r a solid package man*

12:13 PM u r intelligent, smart, humorous, witty and guess what u r hot also! :D

and ambitious..!*

ppl think they'll get max 2 things from this

but u r a bloddy package man*

12:14 PM and i wont let someone exhange a mac book for a bloody desktop

me: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

omg!!!!

omfg!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

another jinuism

* Note - None of the adjectives issued by the individual JinuP above are true, they have just been quoted for sake of demonstration of love.

Why wink?!?

Of a lot of stupid things that men do, winking stumps me the most. I mean...there's some winking that is done as a form of eve teasing. But no! This is not eve teasing. Have you ever noticed your guy friends greet you with a wink? Have you ever seen a colleague pass by and winking at you instead of waving or saying hullo?

And then what do you do? Wink back?!? Or slap? Or say...aye nayansukh, harkatein mat kar!

I've joined this new company and surprisingly everytime I come accross this one colleague of mine..he winks at me?!? :| Grrrrrrr

The magic is gone ;D

It had been too long...and it felt great to get one of those again. I call them Jinuisms. For people who think I'm funny, wait until you meet her, my best friend. For the uninitiated, Jinuisms are these little snippets of monologue (read: explosions of laughter gas) that leave you gasping for air in between fits of laughter everytime she rattles them off.

Just the other day when i was reminding her of the time my ex actually complained about the fact that the 'magic is gone' and how she and I cracked up on it (Yeah, I know I'm a bitch), she says...

"The day I heard that, I knew it wasn't going to last with that guy. There's only that much magic that a woman can create with two boobs and one brain!!"

Biatch! ;D

She did it. Again. I was ROFL.

...and isn't it ironic?

"...Traffic Jams when you're already late, a no smoking sign on your cigarette break. It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is knife. It's like meeting the man of my dreams, and meeting his beautiful wife... "

That's right. Met the man of my dreams...and his beautiful fiance. Have known him since childhood when his issues were 'how to pataofy a girl' to 'how to cross the 50% mark in the next exam.' I used to be his fat friend whom his hot girlfriends used to look down upon wondering why he hangs out with me.

Used to help him spot babes in malls and share my notes with him. (Not that I was geeky or any better than him in studies...well only slightly). Used to be the first one to know about his 30 day stints and the girls he used to think he'll settle down with.

Met him after 4 years when he's back to India for his engagement to a beautiful girl. He now talks about world economy, sufi music, stable relationships, global warming and all impressive stuff. Had the most amazing time and conversation in two days. Felt the most comfortable in a long time.

Hmmm....filmy, very filmy.

Note: All characters in this post are fictitious bearing no resemblance to any person living or dead (Well, maybe only slightly)

...and isn't it ironic? :)

Monday night madness!

I'm high. Yes, I'm high as I write this. It's my space. Not like...'MySpace' but my space. Battling the viruses on my flatmate's laptop, I'm complaining! I wanna hit God. That stupid thing that's called God. Go on, you freaks. come on and hit me, you lunatics. The ones who consider themselves the curators of God. Anyway, back to business. I'm no more jobless!

Today was my first day at work! And what do I hear? "What desserts would you like for Saturday?" "What's going to be the menu for Valentine's Day?"

It's such a refreshing change after 'traffic targets' and 'target registrations', all that mediocrity',' a stupid stupid website'

Pfffffffffffffffff

The quirks of singledom :|

One of the weirdest things about being single is that you no longer find those ‘sweet nothings’ sweet. Those little acts of love seem annoying especially when someone else is doing it. Just the other day, I went out for dinner with a couple who couldn’t get enough of each other. And OMG! It was suffocating. I mean, why call me? Yeah, I know, I know, all you lovely couples hate me already. To make it worse, they would often look for morsels in each other’s mouths. Atleast that’s what I prefer to think they were doing. Wait. Now what? You obviously think that I’m this old-haggardly-whiney-thankless single woman. No!!?! Gosh... there I go two steps closer to my quarter life crisis. Ugh!

Home!

I’m back to the place I call home. It’s a deluge of experiences, my parent’s house. Relatives, neighbours, friends who I grew up with, and most of all, time with parents. I have grown up and so have my parents. My dad has joined Facebook and my mum complains about knee aches. That’s what is new. ;D

Laugh it off!

I'm back to the city I'm in love with...Bangalore. After the luxury of home in Delhi and almost a luxury vacation in Mumbai, I'm back to beautiful breeze and rain drenched lanes of Bangalore. I must say it's the most beautiful city to settle in. Anyway, this one's a special dedication to a very witty blog of a friend. He really has the gift of the comic gab. Everytime I visit his blog, I can't help but crack up. So, check it out.

Here goes...

www.madonionslicer.com

The benefits of staying away from home.

• The experience of changing a light bulb. Yourself.
• The experience of going to the electricity board, paying the bill yourself and regaining your bijli connection. Usually, at home, the driver, odd jobs boy, or daddy's office peon would do that.
• The habit of listening to your conscience more than your parents. Their decision might coincide almost all the time but then that's the freedom that you enjoy.
• The experience of experiencing your joys, your grievances on your own. Sharing them with people YOU want to.
• The suckiness of kneading the dough to make roti and then the ultimate joy of sitting down and hogging all of it realizing how well you cook.
• The freedom to sleep at 8:00pm in the evening if you want to.
• The freedom to take anybody home (your house) or throw anybody out ;D
• The realization of right and wrong. On your own. And then the joy of kicking away what's wrong even if it's verrrrrrrrry tempting.
• The freedom of going out at 12 in the night and not being hollered by your dad to find out when you're gonna come back.
• The freedom of sitting down at 9 AM in the morning typing all this when you know you should be rushing to work instead, and not being harrangued by your parents saying 'It's time! You gotta rushhh'
• Escaping the feeling of helplessness after witnessing your parent's health deteriorate by the day. (This one sucks but don't hate me for this.)
• The experience of friends. Real friends. and very sucky roommates too sometimes.